Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
