I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
