she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
