I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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