i can't believe i had my finger in that
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
