Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
