Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
