We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall