I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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