my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
