So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
