I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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