drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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