is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
