the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
