I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Randomize
