..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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