I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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