It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
