so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
