who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
