you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
