Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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