so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
