is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
