I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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