Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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