Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize