I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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