nut hugger
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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