We're facebook friends in real life
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Damn victory sex feels great
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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