IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
