i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
