addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
