R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
