at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
