I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
