i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
