The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
