I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
