Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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