and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
