Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
