Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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