I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
