my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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