Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
