I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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