Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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