Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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