It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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