I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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