that's an acceptable place to lick
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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