So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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