I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize