is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
