You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
When are your genitals available?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
