Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize