Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
