There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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