Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
