I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
