I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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