Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
