I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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