I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
