Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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