weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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