Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize